How can i understand guys?????

ya allah...!!!why can't i understand those guys out there???ok,make it this way....why can't guys out there understand us??? hmmmm,let me start at the beginning...ader this guy yg aku kenal last year..(tambah,tolak,darab,bahagi....dah setahun lebih arr aku kenal dia..)....he approached me first n ask for my phone number.At first rasa cam xnak bagi jer tp nnt ckp menyombong lak...so aku pun bagi arr...well,he's the first guy yg mcm mana ntah aku bleh kasi no. phone...so,the next day,he called me and we talked for 3-4hours everyday....!! mula2 tu aku xder apa2 perasaan pun kt that guy...not even 0.5%...!!!! tp bila semggu borak gan dia...tetiba dia diam jer....aku ni tetiba lak jd rindu...nk mssg dia,heheh....ego aku pun kena jaga beb..!!! lepas 3-4 ari dia diamkan diri,finally dia bg gak msg kt aku....addeeiihhh....terubat rindu gue...heheheh...well,start dari situ...kisah aku gan dia asyik2 dok on,off,on,off....3-4 hari skali baru msg...iyer la,aku tau dia mmg bz n aku plak still study...kat tempat org lak tu...tp susah sgt ke nk msg b4 tdo, ckp gudnight pun jadi laa...well,mayb zaman 'rak' bercinta dia dh lepas tp aku baru nak masuk era 'percintaan'..huhu...x sangka memori first love yg org sll ckp 'terindah' tu...tp bg aku nightmare....aku pun dh letih nk pikir...sometimes,i'd rather stay single than having an 'invisible' relationship....i've tried hard...XtraXtra hard to get him off my mind but i just can't make it..urrgghhh...!!!!! nak kata dh declare,setakat bg2 hint...aper kes...klu bleh nk jer aku tanya dia pasal perasaan dia yg sebenar2nya kt aku....bkn aper,byk sgt buaya2 skrg nih yg suka main2kan perasaan org pompuan...aper pun,i'll just go with the flow...
Farah,ramai lagi kat luar sana yg syg kat ko....u have family n friends that really support u all the way....CHEER UP!!!!

p/s: kaksu aku baru jer bersalin...dapat baby girl....ari2 aku tgk dia...jaga dia...mmg tumpah kasih aku kat baby Ain...at least aku ader sum1 to love....dh org x sudi dgn cinta aku...baik aku curah kat insan yg baru jer kenal dunia ni...huhu...i bet i'll be totally homesick when i go back to USU next week....